Interchangeable
by aster-sunflowers
Summary: Usagi and Mamoru break up, and she tries to take on more than she can carry. Can she handle all those feelings and still go on? Well, it certainly helps to have a friend there for her. But can Usagi figure out what it means to be an adult? More importantly, can she change fate? Only time will tell!
1. Chapter 1

Hi. I'm writing something different for once.

I actually wrote this back in Apirl? May? I wrote this some months ago and decided to post it because why not. It's whatever. Plus, I found a catchy song and it gave me inspiration to write alot again.

Anywho, this is my first ever Sailor Moon fanfic. I hope I don't get any details wrong or anything... I'm not used to writing for this show (yet).

Let's see how this goes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or the characters or the plot or anything, really.

xoxoxoxoxo

Usagi sighed to herself as she sat alone on a swing. She couldn't clear her mind, still lost in her thoughts of Mamoru. It wasn't fair.

The sun had set beyond the buildings and the city was still lit with streetlamps. It wasn't completely dark, but it felt somewhat colder.

She shivered, eyes downcast as she pushed herself back and forth with her heeled foot. She came up here to get her mind off of everything, and instead the opposite had happened.

Instead of being able to properly distract herself, she had fallen into a sea of thought, and Mamoru haunted her.

She couldn't escape it.

The park was on the roof of a building, and in that building there was a formal party. Everyone had attended, all of them ecstatic about freely enjoying themselves somewhere nice for a change.

In her group of friends, she guessed that Rei would be the only one aware of why she left. Everyone else, she made sure, didn't have a slight clue. Especially Mamoru, and she wanted to keep him, especially oblivious.

She told herself in the mirror before she arrived that no matter what happened, she wouldn't cry in front of him. She wouldn't let him ruin her mood. She would stand there, head up and brightly smiling, and she would have fun with her friends. She would enjoy her beautiful new dress, and she would make memories with the people she loved.

She would be strong, and she would be mature. She would be the adult he wanted her to be and show him that she wasn't childish anymore. Desperation led her to panicking, trying to find anything she could change about herself to bring him back, but all of her findings gave her a lump in her throat, and she was sure that if she let her mind wonder anymore, her makeup would ruin,

and she would be found out.

The door to the roof opened and she didn't think to hide. She just stared through the fence's chainlinks and scanned the stars for an answer to calm her nerves. Anything would do. Anything that made it all go away.

Chibiusa had to be born, it was destiny, right? So that would mean that when Mamoru said it was for their own good that they part ways…. that wouldn't change destiny would it?

There was a hand on her shoulder.

Usagi looked up, defeated and her eyes widened when she saw Mamoru.

"It pains me to see you so broken about this," he said quietly. "Dango-"

"I'm going home." Usagi said quietly, sitting up. She straightened her dress and walked past Mamoru with her dress in her hands, and she didn't dare look back. He frowned, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I didn't do it because I hated you."

"You changed fate," she said quietly, feeling her eyes water. Her initial plan had completely foiled. "You threw away everything we fought so hard for." She stopped walking and stood by the door, wiping her eyes. There was no stopping it now. She was crying.

"Chibiusa…."

"I had to, we were starting to-"

"To grow up. We had our problems, and it was too much for you."

Mamoru ran towards her. "I didn't let them go because I don't love you!"

"You're selfish."

The door shut. Mamoru blinked, exhaling. He knew it was for her own good that he didn't follow her, but the more involved they got, the more complicated everything around them seemed. He didn't want to trouble her for the rest of her life, nor himself. They were still young and he thought this was another way of maturing into an adult.

Learning to let go of the past. Moving forward to the future.

It had only been a few weeks ago… he had hoped she'd at least gotten over it by now, but he knew her better than that. It would take alot of time and he couldn't stand the fact that right now, she was feeling that way instead of having fun like he hoped she would.

Usagi was walking downstairs slowly, with little visions flashing in her mind.

Every moment they kissed, fought and protected eachother. Everything they worked so hard for, now disregarded. Fate was gone, destiny meant nothing to him, and she shivered again, still holding her dress.

She could hear everyone in the ballroom laughing and dancing. She heard them all make jokes and bicker with one another, and she understood that she had people there for her. She would never deny that.

Most of all, she could only think of Chibiusa…. she'd missed her so much, and now even that was just another dream. Her heart ached with nostalgia.

Being an adult meant learning to compromise and deal with your problems, not run away from them. She couldn't believe Mamoru.

Her footsteps became more frequent as she neared the end of the staircase.

Her makeup was a mess. She felt her face flush. There was no way she could return to the group, they would surely wonder about her, and she didn't want to trouble any of them. She thought up a good lie and decided to stick with that until she could collect herself and play pretend.

The door upstairs opened and her heart skipped a beat. Mamoru. "Usagi?" He called to her. She took off her heels and ran, stuffing her dress in her hands as she dashed through unknown hallways. She had to get away from him. She needed a distraction.

"Usagi! Usagi we need to talk!"

The future was gone and the past was full of big memories that held little worth to the man who helped make them. There was nothing to talk about. Adults moved on. Adults were mature enough to let go. Adults had big problems like this and adults had to face reality.

Setsuna had said so, herself that fate wasn't set in stone. Usagi had faced so many terrible situations where people have either died or gotten really hurt, and yet right now, the recollection of those worlds felt much much worse than anything she'd ever fought.

Any daimon, any witch or monster would never sting her the way the absence of Mamoru had.

She had broken down and was sitting on the floor with her shoes in her hands. Her pink ballroom dress had gotten wrinkled and her makeup was running down her cheeks.

Her blue eyes stared at the carpet patterns in the silence.

How had this happened? She felt like her life was a fairy tale meant for a happy ending….

Her niavity was ripped in half.

xoxo

"Bun head?"

Usagi opened her eyes and looked up. A concerned face was looking down at her.

"Haruka…?"

"It's not safe to just fall asleep in the halls like that." Haruka kneeled beside her wiping her cheek.

"You cried."

"It's not important." Usagi laughed lightly, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "It was just an accident. I was too tired from all the dancing."

"Dancing…?" Haruka rose an eyebrow. "I didn't see you dancing."

Usagi blushed, eyes widening. She waved her hands in front of her.

"OH I DANCED! I danced alot, and I got really tired and that's how I got here!" Her voice was a pitch higher than normal because she felt caught in a lie, and even though she knew it was bad, she didn't know how else to answer.

Haruka shook her head. "You're a terrible liar."

Usagi laughed loudly, shaking her head as she hit the carpet with her shoes in her hands. Then her laughter became awkward and quiet and she smiled widely at Haruka, as if her eyes weren't teary and her face wasn't clearly washed out.

Haruka shook her head, crossing her arms. Usagi lowered her head in dismay.

"Walk with me, Bun head."

Usagi nodded, carefully standing up. She thought to put her shoes on but decided against it.

She wasn't feeling well enough to try and walk in heels. Haruka tossed her suit jacket over her shoulder and moved forward.

Where to, Usagi wasn't sure of. She wondered if they would be leaving and prayed to anything that on her way out, she wouldn't see Mamoru. He didn't tell their friends about this, did he? She didn't like confrontation.

xoxo

The wind whipped through her hair. Haruka looked through the rear view mirror at Usagi and then turned to focus on Michiru.

"Why did you come to the party if you knew Mamoru was going to be there, Usagi?"

Michiru's voice was soft and filled with concern. None of the accusative hostility Usagi had been used to before, now that all of their differences were settled. Usagi wasn't used to it, but she answered anyways.

Or tried to.

"Because….,"

She clenched her dress tightly. The sky was dark and the moon was full and lit everything in a light blue. It gave her the confidence to speak.

"…I wanted to prove to myself that I was an adult."

Haruka shook her head.

"I was told you ran from the room, hid on the roof, and wouldn't talk to him about it when he tried to speak to you."

"Haruka!" Michiru snapped, staring at the driver. Haruka frowned at her as she turned a corner.

"It's not a mature way to act." She said matter-of-factly. Michiru crossed her arms and looked out of her window.

Haruka blinked a few times, gathering her thoughts before saying to Usagi, "My apologies. I'm coming on too harsh."

"It's okay," Usagi said quietly. "I need it."

Haruka didn't like the tone of her voice. It was out of character for someone like Usagi Tsukino.

She was unlike herself and it was scary how different she became over something like this. Michiru noticed too and they glanced at eachother, unsure of what to say.

The Usagi they knew from the beginning was always so hopeful and bright. She was always trying to find a better way to solve problems and was very tolerant.

She had her own way of handling things and overall, she did it with kindness. The same girl who once seemed so childish and innocent was reduced to this and it became apparent that this was nothing unusual for someone her age.

She was trying to deal with an adult situation in an adult way and they didn't know what to do.

xoxo

Haruka leaned against the wall of Usagi's house, looking Michiru in the eyes.

"Princess everything isn't herself."

Michiru nodded, frowning. "It's not like her to be so quiet…."

"It's not like her to be so dim. It's as though Mamoru took her spirit when he left her."

Michiru nodded again, looking directly at Haruka. "I can't imagine what she must be feeling….From what I heard, they had an important history together."

Haruka became annoyed. "He just leaves after everything without even a warning?! What kind of man does he think he is!"

Michiru grabbed Haruka's arm. "He did what he thought was best. It's normal for Usagi to feel this way about it, and there's nothing we can do. She just needs time."

Haruka shook her head, glaring. This wasn't justifiable. Usagi wasn't just another girl and Mamoru wasn't just another man. Her friends had all told her everything she needed to know about the two, and nothing made sense. None of his actions added up and it frustrated her.

She was getting ready to hunt him down herself, but Michiru's grip tightened.

"Tenoh…" she said softly. Haruka blushed, expression calming. Michiru stared at her with a concerned frown.

"We have to stay out of this… their personal lives aren't our business. You and I more than anyone should know what they must be feeling…. Things won't be this rough for Usagi forever, you know."

Haruka let her shoulders rest. She had tensed up without realizing it.

"It doesn't make sense, Michiru."

"Life never does…." Michiru frowned, looking away before smiling as her hand made it's way to Haruka's.

"sometimes the pain we experience can make way for much happier memories. This could be the thing to strengthen their bond together."

The possibility of that was pleasant, but unrealistic. They began walking to Haruka's car and they both looked back towards the house. Usagi was probably washed up and asleep right now. They would check up on her tomorrow.

xxx


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I still own nothing.

xoxoxo  
Waking up had become a chore. Usagi sat up and tried to recall what she did the night before. Everything was fuzzy… she remembered putting on her dress.

She glanced across her room to see it hanging over her closet door, and then everything came back. The parts where she left her friends, to the roof and watching the sunset, to running away, then Haruka and Michiru.

She sighed, shaking her head. How embarassing.

"Usagi?" Her eyes opened and she searched around her for the voice.

"Luna!"

"Usagi, you were a mess last night! I didn't get the chance to talk to you, are you alright?"

"OH! About that…" Usagi laughed, raising the cat in her arms, joyously. Luna stared at her with knowing eyes and she only kept laughing louder and louder.

"Oh no no no no no, Luna~!" Usagi cuddled her, nuzzling her cheeks on Luna's neck. "I just had a bit too much to drink, it's nothing~"

"You're underage!" Luna said shocked, but Usagi covered her mouth as if her mother would overhear.

"That's not the point!" Usagi bit her lip as her stomach turned. She absolutely hated lying, but she didn't want to be lectured about her actions, especially by Luna. Right now she found herself feeling somewhat better, and she didn't want to ruin that by thinking about things she knew would only ruin her day.

She was too sure that one bad thought would cascade into another terrible fit, and she wasn't so sure if she could handle that right now. All she wanted to do was continue moving forward, and distracting herself. Even if it meant lying.

She sighed, standing up. It was becoming a filthy habit, but this subject was too important to her. The wounds were still fresh and the way he called out to her…

"You're not alright!" Luna shouted. Usagi exclaimed without words and almost dropped the cat.

"YOU LIED TO ME! Usagi, you have to tell me what's wrong with yo-"

"NOTHING Is WRONG YOU SILLY KITTY!" She pinched Luna's cheeks and laughed even more while Luna pouted, pawing away her hands.

"YOU NEVER LIE, and you're obviously covering something up! That's not healthy, Usagi."

"LET'S GO GET YOU SOME FOOD," Usagi shouted, carrying the cat under her arm. She slammed open the door and ran through the hallway, towards the kitchen.

"BUT USAGI!"

"FOOD IS NICE."

xoxoxo

Haruka stared at the ceiling while Michiru practiced her violin. The music filled the air beautifully but it couldn't ease her mind today like it usually would. She stayed extra silent and Michiru caught on, and stopped her miniature concert to tap Haruka on the shoulder with her bow.

Haruka looked at her questioningly.

"Still concerned with Usagi?"

Haruka sighed, leaning back in her chair. Michiru pulled a chair away from the nearby table and sat beside her. They looked at eachother.

"I've never see her so shaken up," she said. Michiru nodded, looking away. "It's another part of growing. We both agreed that pain was good for her every now and then."

"She's the messiah…." Haruka said, thoughtfully. "I've never seen her with such a hopeless expression. Not even when her idealist actions almost destroyed our planet… She still looked so hopeful,"

Michiru held onto Haruka's hands but Haruka shook them away absent mindedly. Michiru frowned, cradling her violin in her arms. She felt uneasy about the talk they were having, but didn't say a word.

Haruka carried on.

"She's never had that blankness in her eyes…. not an expression with that much emptiness. They seemed almost…"

"Void," Michiru finished. "As if something were missing?"

"Yes." Haruka looked at her and frowned. "Exactly so. What should we do?"

Michiru turned to face the large windows in front of them. The afternoon sun lit up the room in a faint white, and cast a shadow in the shape of the window panes on the floor.

It looked elegent against the piano. She kept her eyes on that.

"We agreed to do nothing. We can't interfere with their lives, Tenoh…"

Harka's cheeks turned a faint pink. Michiru had a feeling. She smiled.

"We can't fix something that is out of our control. We're not supposed to be the ones to pick her up when she falls. We already had this discussion, didn't we?"

Haruka heard the sound of a chair being pushed in. She looked up to see Michiru walking away. Michiru kept her eyes on the floor and hid her uneasy expression. All this concern for Usagi? Was it right to feel jealous?

Was she selfish for that?

She knew the situation was difficult and that they should be there for her, but she couldn't stop the burn in her chest from igniting.

There was something in Haruka's voice that she couldn't quite place, and she didn't trust it one bit.

xoxo

"USAGI!" Rei beat on her bedroom door. Ami looked around, worried, and Minako joined Rei. "USAAAAGIIIII!" They shouted, "LET US IN."

"USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! "

Opening the door, Usagi glared at them, cheeks puffed out in annoyance. They collapsed on her bedroom floor, in disarray, before immediately jumpig up and crowding her. She blinked, confused.

Minako grabbed her shoulders.

"WE NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE!" She exclaimed, before Makoto cut in. "It's not good for you to focus that deeply on someone like stupid old Mamoru!"

"HEY! He actually helped us alot when we needed him! Just because someone breaks up with Usagi doesn't make him stupid!" Minako clenched her fists, before elbowing Usagi from their clutches and hugging her.

"Who says it's the end anyways? Maybe this is like one of those romance movies!"

The girls all stared at Minako except Usagi, who was biting her lip, trying to control herself. This subject was the exact one she was trying her best to avoid, but somehow that wasn't working out as she had planned.

Ami noticed and gestured for the other girls to stop. Rei yanked her away from Minako.

"Usagi…? Are you alright?" She asked softly. Usagi nodded, wiping away a single tear. She grinned sheepishly.

"Yes, I'm alright!" She said, wiping her eyes again. "I just have allergies…."

Staring at their friend, the girls frowned in unison and Usagi lowered her head, lips trembling.

Rei panicked, eyes widening before looking around frantically and hugging her tightly. Usagi clutched onto her coat and wrapped her arms around it.

Rei pat her on the shoulder and Ami joined. They all huddled in to hold her. She sobbed.

"I don't want to think about him anymore." She said. Minako and Makoto glared at eachother accusingly. Rei hissed at them and they ceased. Minako ducked behind Ami. Ami only held Usagi.

She spoke up again.

"I miss Chibiusa…. and I miss the future I thought we'd have…."

Rei closed her eyes and hugged her tighter. "Who says the future won't still be great? Maybe something even better is waiting just around the corner."

"You can't just let this single bad thing ruin your life," Ami cut in. "I promise you with all my heart no matter what happens, you'll be happy again."

Usagi shook her head, blowing her nose. Rei cringed, cursing wordlessly as her arms swung around. Usagi looked up at her with watery eyes and Rei cringed,her face an angry red.

Now was not the time to yell at her. She sighed, only putting her arms back around her friend.

Things like that could easily wait until she wasn't torn up about someone like Mamoru Chiba. If she thought about it, the situation really was serious.

Ami must have been the first to understand that because she, especially, looked worried. Minako grabbed Usagi's cheeks.

"We should go out today!" She grinned. Usagi sniffed. Minako rubbed their noses together.

"We can make it a girl's day! no talks about love or dates or guys at all. Just us, the sun and the city!"

"I actually think that's a brilliant plan," Ami said. She put a finger to her chin in thought. "Sunlight does release endorphins that bring happiness."

"You know what else brings happiness?" Makoto took out a folded paper from her jacket pocket. They all looked at it curiously, except Usagi, who, again, was wiping her eyes. They then looked back at her and cheered.

"Where are we going?" She asked. They only kept cheering.

"Guys?" Her arms were linked in theirs as they happily took her from her room. Usagi felt her face flush and her nose run. She couldn't go outside like that!

"GUYS I NEED A TISSUE!"

"NONSENSE, USAGI!" Minako cheered. "TODAY THE WORLD IS YOUR TISSUE!"

The cheering continued.

An amusement park awaited.

xoxo

_~the world is your tissue~_


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